I have been struggling with worry for the past few weeks. As hard as I tried, I could not stop worrying about my finances. I was feeling so much in despair that I might have to drop out of school to take yet another job in order to provide for my son and myself. I felt like something was going wrong. I started to question God and myself because I had thought that I knew my calling. I had truly believed that I was supposed to be in school getting my education during this season in my life. I did not understand why I was facing this potential change.
Even though it seemed as if there was no way for things to work out in my education's favor, I knew that God was capable of making a way. I just didn't have faith that He would choose to. After much heartfelt prayer, I decided to be honest with God and pour out my heart to Him...let Him know how I felt. You know, what I felt in my soul was "Silly girl, don't you know that I have called you? Don't you know that I will give you what you need to fulfill that calling?"
After that, I began praying for God to help me to walk out in faith. I asked for direction as to what to do to make ends meet. Friday, I felt led to go to the financial aid office and speak to a counselor. I told her the whole story and what I was facing financially. She looked at my account and guess what? There was $3500 worth of financial aid that I was qualified for and didn't get! I didn't even know it! She dispersed the funds and I will be getting half at the end of next week and half added to my aid for next semester! She also informed me that due to the fact I would be attaining Junior status soon, I would be allotted an extra $1000! How good is God?! Any of you who know me can probably guess that I burst out crying with sheer joy.
The story doesn't end there, though. As I was crying, I glanced to my right and saw a tapestry on the wall of this woman's office. It was Jeremiah 29:11 which says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Is that not awesome? So, of course, I cried even harder.
The point of this story is not to tell you about the struggle of a single mom/college student/young Christian. The point is not even to tell you about faith. To talk about those things makes this story about me when it truly is not about me at all. It is about God and Who He is. He is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider. Many people see this as Him providing our needs. Is it possible for us to see this characteristic of God in a different light? This requires a much less self-centered viewpoint. Rather than focusing on our needs being met, we must focus on the needs of our mission being met. When God calls us to complete a task for His glory, He does not call the equipped. He finds the willing and faithful ones. Then, He chooses them and equips the called. He is faithful to provide everything we need to complete the mission that He has called us to. All we must do is walk out in faith and be willing to let Him take over. Be blessed today, my friends!
Boundless Love in Christ,